#mo

I'm an orphan!" Constance cried gleefully. "I'm an orphan!" ~ The Prisoner's Dilemma ↗

— Trenton Lee Stewart

#the-mysterious-benedict-society #humor

Genna: “My straw has a hole in it!” Tim: *gives her a Really? look* Genna: “One that it’s not meant to have! ↗

— Timmothy Radman

#misunderstanding #obvious #straw #humor

A short distance away is the Tidal Basin, ringed by cherry trees that every year produce flowers, an event to which Washingtonians react as though it were the Second Coming of Christ. ↗

— Dave Barry

#washington-dc #humor

Had she punished him enough? How could she be sure? ↗

— Anne Taintor

#humor

In most of my campaigns, I find it is best not to mention my opponent by name because, by doing so, it just gives him a chance to get into the headlines. ↗

— Harry S. Truman

#politics #humor

Steampunk is nothing more than what happens when Goths discover brown. ↗

— Charles Stross

#humorous #humor

Stargirl began to improvise. She flung her arms to a make-believe crowd like a celebrity on parade. She waggled her fingers at the stars. She churned her fists like an egg-beater. Every action echoed down the line behind her. The three hops of the bunny became three struts of a vaudeville vamp. Then a penguin waddle. Then tippy-toed priss. Every new move brought new laughter from the line. ↗

— Jerry Spinelli

#humor

Don’t take drugs. Asking politely promotes healthy stereotypes. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #funny

Men are men, mortal or not. ↗

— K.C. Randall

#humor-relationships #humor

When life gives you lemons...throw the lemons at people..it's hilarious! ↗

— Jayce O'Neal

#humor #jayce #jayceoneal #humor