#mo

I never wanted to be a painter; I wanted to be a tap dancer. ↗

— Andy Warhol

#life #humor

... Besides it's better to have Miyoshi around. You and me have a been together since Jr. High. Without her around people might think we're gay. ↗

— Tsugumi Ohba

#humor #manga #humor

The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are in the wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right. ↗

— Mark Twain

#humor

Rubbish!" screamed a fat, elderly woman, in Richard's ear, as he passed her malodorous stall. "Junk!" She continued. "Garbage! Trash! Offal! Debris! Come and get it! Nothing whole or undamaged! Crap, tripe, and useless piles of shit. You know you want it. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#trash #humor

Blameless people are always the most exasperating. ↗

— George Eliot

#society #humor

And even, if circumstances required, a contingency plan for his contingency plan's contingency plan. ↗

— Frank Beddor

#circumstances #contingency #glass #humor #looking

Aw, hell!" Kyle grumbled. My gaze flickered toward him at the sound of his voice. I could just see his bright eyes around Jared's elbow, focused on me. " It didn't fall!" He complained. Jared lundged forward, away from me. With a loud smacking sound, his fist hit Kyle's face. Kyle's eyes rolled back in his head, and his mouth fell slack. The room was very quiet for a few seconds. "Um," Doc said in a mild voice, "medically speaking, I'm not sure that was the most helpful thing for his condition." "But I feel better," Jared answered, sullen. ↗

— Stephenie Meyer

#kyle #humor

Inconceivable! ↗

— William Goldman

#humor

The word that comes to mind is 'beefcake', Zane drawled, looking Ty over, appreciating the view "Mission accomplished then!" Ty said happily as he turned around to face Zane again. He frowned suddenly. "Is beefcake one word or two?" Zane laughed. "Who cares when you've got a great ass? ↗

— Abigail Roux

#ty #zane #humor

I'd turn and run but I'm anchored by two dudes that could hold the Titanic during a tsunami. ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#humor #humor