#mo

I've done tangos with men who thought my ass was a squeaky toy. ↗

— Seanan McGuire

#funny #humor #tango #toy #funny

HUGH: What I want to know is, where do the Aussies get off thinking they’re tougher than cowboys? JESSICA: Cowboys fight men with guns. Aussies fight nature with knives. HUGH: Nature can be killed, sister. That is the difference. Its landscapes are reduced to photographic reproductions every day and its laws are destined to become outmoded paradigms. But human nature is immutable. ↗

— Bauvard

#cowboys #funny #humor #nature #funny

The number of fishermen today who go out on a boat with the intention of catching fish is very disenchanting. It degrades fishing into a hobby. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #hobbies #humor #funny

We're all headed for the junkyard. But not me. When that time comes, I'm crashing into the car dealership. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #junkyards #trash #funny

Hardly anything is made of wood anymore. Nature has provided us with far more durable materials. Carpentry is as obsolete as rainforests. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #nature #rainforests #wood

Water is not as life-giving as alcohol, or as widespread. But it is more ethical to use as an industrial solvent. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #solvents #water #funny

The lawn is the last suburban frontier. It separates us from the corruption of the street and its triker gangs. When drive-by shootings occur, our grass gets a shower instead of our windows getting water-stains. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #gangs #humor #lawns #shootings

That body is most attractive which is well proportioned: a gangly right arm balanced by a left stump, a leg suffering from elephantitis by a meatless femur bone, a tapered waist by a bulbous head. One should be so ordered that all who see this person will say: ‘This is a figure ruled by harmony. ↗

— Bauvard

#bodies #funny #humor #proportion #funny

I was shy,” said six-foot-one of bashful male. He grunted as a sharp, feminine elbow thudded inconspicuously into his side. ↗

— Anne Gracie

#historical-romance #humour #romance #funny

What the dev— er, deuce did you do that for? It hurt!” “Good,” said the angel. “I was afraid these new shoes would not be sturdy enough. ↗

— Anne Gracie

#historical-romance #humour #romance #funny