#mo

You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense ↗

— Chris Rock

#women #humor

You know, I can see more than just the future or the past." "Really?" I asked, paging through through the papers in the file. "Can you also see the present? Because I can do that, too. Like, right now, I sense that I'm in a messy room with a total toolbox. ↗

— Rachel Hawkins

#humor #rachel-hawkins #sophie #spell-bound #torin

I'm looking into my past lives. I'm convinced some of them still owe me money. ↗

— Graham Parke

#philosophy #weird #humor

My objection to war was not that I had to kill somebody or be killed senselessly, that hardly mattered. What I objected to was to be denied the right to sit in a small room and starve and drink cheap wine and go crazy in my own way and at my own leisure. ↗

— Charles Bukowski

#war #wine #humor

Sorry, Ms. Terwilliger. I'm flattered that you think I'm such an upstanding person, but I'm already caught up in one epic battle of good versus evil. I don't need another. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#sydney-sage #humor

It often happens that we blurt out things that may in some kind of way be harmful to us, but we are silent about things that may make us look ridiculous; because in this case effect follows very quickly on cause. ↗

— Arthur Schopenhauer

#schopenhauer #humor

That's chess!" snapped Ron. "You've got to make some sacrifices! ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#inspirational #humor

Darius held Stark back from launching himself at Neferet, and Duantia spoke quickly into the rising tension. 'Neferet, I think we can all agree that there are many unanswered questions about the tragedy that occured on our island today. Stark, we also understand the passion and rage you feel at the loss of your Priestess. it is a hard blow for a Warrior to-' Duantia's wisdom was cut off by the sound of Aretha Franklin belting out the chorus from "Respect," which was coming from the little Coach purse Aphrodite had slung over her shoulder. Oopsie, um, sorry 'bout that.' Aphrodite frantically unzipped her purse and dug for her iPhone. ↗

— P.C. Cast

#vampires #humor

Andrea: "....I think a dog is a great idea. I just never pictured you with a mutant poodle.” Kate: “He isn’t a poodle. He’s a Doberman mix." Andrea: “Aha. Keep telling yourself that. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#humor

Could you just call me Pigeon?” he asked the teacher when she read his name. “Does your mother call you Pigeon?” “No.” “Then to me you are Paul.” ... “Nathan Sutter,” the teacher read. “My mother never calls me Nathan.” “Is it Nate?” “She calls me Honeylips. ↗

— Brandon Mull

#names #nicknames #humor