#mo

It's the same with spirit guises; show me a sweet little choirboy or a smiling mother and I'll show you the hideous fanged strigoi it really is. (Not always. Just sometimes. *Your* mother is absolutely fine, for instance. Probably.) ↗

— Jonathan Stroud

#humor #stroud #humor

What's a flange?" asked Marcia. A what?" A flange. It says here attatch piece Y to the long, upright D, taking care to align holes P and Q with the corrosponding holes N and O in the left-hand flange. I can't see a wrethed flange anywhere. ↗

— Angie Sage

#humor #humor

A cash-bought merit badge ain't worth shit. ↗

— Chuck Palahniuk

#humor

If you lay a hand on me I'll ram your testicles so far up inside your abdomen it'll take a heart surgeon to get them out. ↗

— Orson Scott Card

#humor #orson #humor

Woah,' I said, blocking the doorway. 'You can't come in here. This is the girls' room.' Even as it came out of my mouth, I knew it sounded dumb. Dumb, I thought and maybe even wrong. You...are a boy, aren't you?' I asked. 'I mean, don't take that the wrong way or anything -' J.Lo is a boy, yes.' I let that go. So...you Boov have boys and girls...just like us?' Of course,' said J.Lo. 'Do not be ridicumlous.' I smiled a wan little smile. 'Sorry.' The Boov have seven magnificent genders. There is boy, girl, girlboy, boygirl, boyboy, boyboygirl, and boyboyboyboy.' I had absolutely no response to this. ↗

— Adam Rex

#gender #humor #politeness #humor

Randall laid his hand on Stella's, but only to remove it from his sleeve. "My precious, you really must have some regard for my clothes," he said with gentle reproach. "Much as I love you, I cannot permit you to maul this particular coat. ↗

— Georgette Heyer

#humor

She had been a teenager once, and she knew that, despite the apparent contradictions, a person's teenage years lasted well into their fifties. ↗

— Derek Landy

#humor #humorous #immaturity #teenagers #teens

Peace be with you," I said, and as I turned to resume my journey with Coyote, I added under my breath, "and asskicking be with me. ↗

— Kevin Hearne

#war #humor

Everytime I read 'Pride and Prejudice' I want to dig her up and beat her over the skull with her own shin-bone. ↗

— Mark Twain

#humor #jane-austen #humor

...I do have to wonder what sort of childhood the Grimm brothers endured. They are not a merry bunch of storytellers, what with their children roasted by witches, maidens poisoned by old crones, and whatnot. ↗

— Libba Bray

#young-adult #humor