#mo

Glasses are for people that sips instead of drinks. ↗

— Kai Starr

#drinking #humor #humor

Die human, DIE!! Die nasty polluting person!!!!' yelled Grover. I turned him so he faced me. He kept on clicking his plastic gun towards me as if I was part of the game. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor

If anyone wanted ter find out some stuff, all they’d have ter do would be ter follow the spiders. That’d lead ‘em right! That’s all I’m sayin’. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humorous-quotations #spiders #humor

I have to tell you, Arty, a screw up this early in the proceedings doesn’t exactly fill me with confidence. I hope you’re as clever as you keep telling everyone you are.” “I never tell anybody exactly how clever I am. They would be too scared... ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#fantasy #humor #humor

Yeah, well, that won’t matter if your throat starts swelling and you die in my passenger seat.” That could happen with an allergic reaction. He’d seen it on the Discovery Channel. ↗

— Katee Robert

#humor

Stand your ground!" Stheno yelled. "I've got free samples! ↗

— Rick Riordan

#euryale #gorgon #heroes-of-olympus #humor #medusa

It's gas! It's gonna blow!" Ben shouts. He throws open the passenger door and takes off, running in a panic. He hurdles a split-rail fence and tears across a hay field. I get out as well, but not in quite the same hurry. Radar is outside, too, and as Ben hauls ass, Radar is laughing. "It's the beer," he says. ↗

— John Green

#humor

What's with the strange clothes?" I smile through my labored breath, pleased to be making progress. "Where I'm from, you'd be the one dressed strangely." Thank goodness, she slows a bit. "And what planet is that again?" "Er. Canada. ↗

— Cyn Balog

#humor

You know that Kate called Walter a heartless bastard?" "And an asshole. I am quite proud. ↗

— Aimee Carter

#husband-and-wife #humor

What is your collective GPA for this year?” “Not as high as I'd like it to be.” Freud steepled his fingers in front of his mouth. “What about your parents?” “I don't know. They haven't been in school for a while. ↗

— Nenia Campbell

#interrogation #sarcasm #humor