#mo

There are no things man was not meant to know. There are, perhaps, things man is too dumb to figure out, but that's a different problem. ↗

— Michael Kurland

#humor #logic #science #humor

Young people, nowadays, imagine that money is everything. Yes, murmured Lord Henry, settling his button-hole in his coat; and when they grow older they know it. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#imagine #know #money #old #sarcasm

Wait." Amber jumped up wide-eyed. "Is she a—" "A ghost " I smirked. "Amber you're a necromancer in a show about raising the dead. What did you expect Eerie sounds produced by a computer and a few Hollywood actors in bad makeup Please don't tell me you've never seen a real ghost. ↗

— Jayde Scott

#beelzebub-girl #humor #jayde-scott #humor

One minute she acts like she wants to be with me and I'm the one rejecting her. The next, she's got this barbed wire fence and barking dogs around her, like I can't even ask her the simplest questions." "And here I was assuming you didn't care about her." Stabbing his fingers through his hair, he groaned, "I don't!" "And you make it perfectly clear." Men. Idiots. ↗

— Jennifer Armintrout

#love #men-and-women #relationships #humor

Happiness is anyone and anything that's loved by you ↗

— Charlie Brown

#inspirational #humor

Boss, please!" Winnie was almost crying, too. "Let me die in peace," Keller said, although she didn't realize she was saying it aloud until she heard the words. Then she added, "Don't you cry, Winfrith. You did a good job." "Boss, you're not dying! The blue fire did something - it healed us. We're all okay. But it's almost midnight! ↗

— L.J. Smith

#humor

Don't eat earwax avoid roasted cabbage and look on the bright side of life -Angela ↗

— Christopher Paolini

#humor

Do you ever make silly mistakes? It is one of my very few creative activities. ↗

— Len Deighton

#mistakes #silliness #humor

Did you know that if Barbie was a real woman with those proportions, she'd have to carry her kidneys in her purse? ↗

— Lani Diane Rich

#humor #humor

The werewolf pointed at a bench next to the door into the Kirkwoods’ tomb. “Sit. Wait.” Did I mention werewolves were chatty? ↗

— Mindee Arnett

#just-kidding-not-really #supernatural #humor