#mo

Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle. ↗

— Daniel Keys Moran

#humor

The word 'personal' is one of my aversions. Personal loan. Personal hygiene. Personal safety. It's only a way of wrapping up bad news that you're in debt, or dirty, or likely to be mugged. ↗

— Helen Dunmore

#humor

A good wife would have sorted him out and put him on the right road..." There comes that right road again. I wonder where it is? Imogen thought ↗

— Jean Stubbs

#humor

I am sitting in the smallest room of my house. I have your review before me. In a moment it will be behind me. ↗

— Max Reger

#humor

Everyone Except Willie, so now why ↗

— Peter Melman

#humor

How did you do it?" he wanted to know. "Enchanted arrows? Spell of exploding flesh? Rain of fire? No, not that. The worm would be cooked and we would be eating it. Wand of destruction? Oh, a wand of destruction would be a find, fine thing." He turned to me. "Speak up, girl." I hit him with your skillet. A lot. ↗

— Holly Lisle

#humor

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. ↗

— Jimmy Durante

#marriage #humor

His books commingled democratically, united under the all-inclusive flag of Literature. Some were vertical, some horizontal, and some actually placed behind others. Mine were balkanized by nationality and subject matter. ↗

— Anne Fadiman

#humor #humor

Hans: [Y]ou can't conceive what a great fellow I'm going to be. The seed of immortality has sprouted within me. Deronda: Only a fungoid growth, I daresay - a crowing disease in the lungs. ↗

— George Eliot

#humor

A woman never reveals her national origins. Once people know that, none of her information is personal. Soon they'll want to know her religion, her marital status, and her real hair color. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #mysterious #women #funny