#mo

It’s often said when a baby is born so is a grandparent; well, for me it turned out that when I was born it was also the birth of a Ding Dong. ↗

— Lisa A. Tortorello

#grandparents #humor #inspirational #love #family

[God] wants you to go home, look at your bucket of seed, and determine in your heart how much you'd like to sow. He wants you to consider thoughtfully your current circumstances, your life, your potential, and your finances. He wants you to involve your family. He wants you to pray about it. And then He wants you to come up with a plan. ↗

— Andy Stanley

#giving #money #sharing #stewardship #tithing

If the self-help books worked, it would be a shrinking industry not a growing one. ↗

— Steve Maraboli

#humor #life #self-help #humor

Was this humanity? Was this nobility? Was this the Christian glory that presumed to hold itself above the heathen Turk? To suffer innocents be sacrificed on an altar of corruption, merely that a lofty family be spared discomfiture? Oh, this was tenfold more abominable than the crime itself, that high authority should wink at it! ↗

— Ray Russell

#money #religion #family

In the back of the fridge I checked out some stewed apples destined to fester. I examined them closely and reckoned they had only a day to go, even by my standards. I spooned the apples into tiny bowls, tossed in some dried fruit and sprinkled them with crumble topping. Delicious, they said that night, scraping the bowls so clean they hardly needed to go in the dishwasher. The fools. ↗

— Helen Brown

#family #feminism #housewife #mother #family

I was much affected by the internal troubles of the Punch family; I thought that with a little more tact on the part of Mrs. Punch and some restraint held over a temper, naturally violent, by Mr. Punch, a great deal of this sad misunderstanding might have been prevented. ↗

— Edmund Gosse

#irony #family

The mai tai got its name when two Polynesian alcoholics got in a fight over some neckwear. ↗

— George Carlin

#humor

I believe that ignorance is the root of all evil. And that no one knows the truth. ↗

— Molly Ivins

#humor #truth #humor

[Janco] paused. His eyes held a distant gleam as if seeing into his past. 'My first practice was a shock. I was a cocky smart aleck--' [Opal] 'Was?' [J] 'Be quiet. I'm telling a story here. ↗

— Maria V. Snyder

#storytelling #humor

The baby dove into the room, transforming grotesquely as it landed on the floorin a deft sumersault ↗

— Brandon Mull

#humor