#mo

She fitted into my biggest arm-chair as if it had been built round her by someone who knew they were wearing arm-chairs tight about the hips that season ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#humor

Besides, Southerners are hospitable. They'll probably offer me lemonade." Excuse me? You're going to sit on a porch and drink lemonade while I plow a swamp with a goat's horn?" Yes, ma'am. And I aim to wear my seamless shirt while you do it. ↗

— Nancy Werlin

#humor

My school colors were clear. We used to say, 'I'm not naked, I'm in the band. ↗

— Steven Wright

#humor

My powers of persuasion are only as strong as the bullshit I have to back it up. - Charley Davidson ↗

— Darynda Jones

#humor #humor

Holding a tear back makes them drain upward, higher and higher, until one day your head just explodes and you're left with a stub of a neck and nothing more. ↗

— Alice Hoffman

#humor

I think it's linked to the realisation that we're not going to live forever and that the way of saying and the language become more important than the story. ↗

— John McGahern

#forever #going #i #i think #important

I think there's a great difference in consciousness in that same way in that when we're young we read books for the story, for the excitement of the story - and there comes a time when you realise that all stories are more or less the same story. ↗

— John McGahern

#comes #consciousness #difference #excitement #great

Long made it possible for me to get on records, so what little money he did take from me, if any at all, he was entitled to it. He didn't take something from me. ↗

— Brownie McGhee

#did #entitled #get #little #little money

Remember that the greatest fool in the world may ask more than the wisest man can answer. ↗

— Bryant H. McGill

#ask #fool #greatest #man #may

Let me express how much I don't care on a scale from one to bite me ↗

— Darynda Jones

#humor #humor