#mon

The greater part of the world's troubles are due to questions of grammar. ↗

— Michel de Montaigne

#grammar #humor #misunderstandings #problems #troubles

This won't stop her from getting elected," Shane said. "Stupider people get elected all the time. It's America. We love the sleazy. And the crazy." "I would like to think better of us," Claire said, "but yeah. You're right. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#election #monica #morganville #sleazy #love

Yelling doesn't get your point across, it only makes it louder. ↗

— Grant Hill

#common-sense #humor #humor

Infuriated, I scrambled over him, even more furious when I saw the humored glint in his eyes. "God you tick me off." "Well at least I got you--" "Don't even finish that statement! ↗

— Jennifer L. Armentrout

#jennifer-armentrout #katy-swartz #opal #the-lux-series #humor

I'm jealous of your hooks," Kevin replied. "Having no hands is better than having two equally strong hands." Don't be ridiculous," one of the white-faced women replied. "Having a white face is worse than both of your situations." But you have a white face because you put makeup on," Colette said, as Sunny climbed back out of the trunk and knelt down in the snow. "You're putting powder on your face right now. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#funny #humor #lemony #slippery-slope #snicket

That’s my girl,” she said, her eyes holding a shared pain as she saw my confusion. “Al, where are you going to put her? Not in your room. She’d pull a line through you and kill you when you hog the blankets. I’ll take the waif in. I promise I’ll bring this one up properly. ↗

— Kim Harrison

#demons #newt #humor

Daughters can spend ten percent more than a man can make in any usual occupation. That’s a law of nature, to be known henceforth as ‘Harshaw’s Law. ↗

— Robert A. Heinlein

#money #humor

Aw, kiss him, Gwen, clamored a hundred perky eggs. Shut up, she rebuked. We don't even know him, and until moments ago we thought he was dead. That's no way to start a relationship. ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#eggs #gwen #humorous #karen-marie-moning #kiss

What a pair they were - a Mistborn who felt guilty wasting coins to jump and a nobleman who thought balls were too expensive. ↗

— Brandon Sanderson

#humor #money #humor

When life gives you lemons, say cool, what else you got? ↗

— Carmen in The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants

#lemon #life #humor