#monk

When I was a little girl, I loved monkeys. I wanted to be a primatologist. I went to the careers office to ask how. Because nobody could give me a good answer, I opted for acting. ↗

— Audrey Tautou

#answer #ask #because #careers #could

There's a statistical theory that if you gave a million monkeys typewriters and set them to work, they'd eventually come up with the complete works of Shakespeare. Thanks to the Internet, we now know this isn't true. ↗

— Ian Hart

#complete #eventually #gave #internet #know

I've always been really athletic, which really helped, because when I first started doing the training for Bulletproof Monk, it required so much strength that if I didn't have a base I don't really know what I would have done. ↗

— Jaime King

#athletic #base #because #been #bulletproof

My most heartfelt thank you goes to Impact Future Media and Cartoon Monkey Studio. Their dedication to the truth is very uncommon in the world we live in today. I am now, and will always be, grateful to their organizations. ↗

— John McAfee

#am #cartoon #dedication #future #goes

The monkey didn't help matters any. He was sitting on top of the microbus, just watching the undead plunge to their end. His face appeared so serene, so intelligent, as if he truly understood the situation. I almost wanted him to turn to me and say, 'This is the turning point of the war! We've finally stopped them! We're finally safe!' But instead his little penis popped out and he peed in my face. ↗

— Max Brooks

#monkey #zombies #humor

Mystics are all a bit funny in the head anyway," the priest added cynically, "which is why the church locks them all up in mental hospitals and euphemistically calls these institutions monasteries. ↗

— Robert Anton Wilson

#sarcasm #funny

Jesus-shaped spirituality hears Jesus say "believe and repent," but the call that resonates most closely in the heart of a disciple is "follow me." The command to follow requires that we take a daily journey in the company of other students. It demands that we be lifelong learners and that we commit to constant growth in spiritual maturity. Discipleship is a call to me, but it is a journey of "we. ↗

— Michael Spencer

#internet-monk #jesus #spirituality #spiritual-growth

I’d much rather a monkey throws a blanket instead of a brick. ↗

— Nicole McKay

#brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny #humor

Yes, Virginia, I guess I am older that dirt. 1966 was almost a half a century ago. The funny thing is - The Monkees are still part of my life. Who would have thought that, 40 or 45 years ago. Who would have thought I'd see them in concert in both 1986 and after the turn of the century. They've given us 50 years of comedy, music, and memories. Maybe the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame should consider immortalizing guys like that. ↗

— duriga

#funny

You know, I preferred you as an evil monk. Would have made killing you a whole lot easier. ↗

— Chris d'Lacey

#firestar #humor #killing #magic #monks