#monkeys

Some say that AIDS came from the monkeys, and I doubt that because we have been living with monkeys from time immemorial, others say it was a curse from God, but I say it cannot be that. ↗

— Wangari Maathai

#because #been #came #cannot #curse

I don't want to sound pretentious, but you could hire a bunch of monkeys to be on a TV show, and if it's successful, then everything's perfect and everybody's happy. ↗

— Scott Caan

#could #everybody #everything #happy #hire

Monkeys who very sensibly refrain from speech, lest they should be set to earn their livings. ↗

— Kenneth Grahame

#lest #monkeys #refrain #sensibly #set

We are just an advanced breed of monkeys on a minor planet of a very average star. But we can understand the Universe. That makes us something very special. ↗

— Stephen Hawking

#average #breed #just #makes #minor

My first attempts to transmit typhus to laboratory animals, including the smaller species of monkeys, had failed, as had those of my predecessors, for reasons which I can easily supply today. ↗

— Charles Jules Henry Nicole

#easily #failed #first #had #i

So once the zookeeper realized it was the monkeys who stole the bananas, he knew there was only one way he'd be able to get them back." "How?" I whispered. My throat was so sore. "Don't talk. He had to beat them in shuffleboard, of course." "What?" "I said don't talk. Monkeys love shuffleboard." He used a page from a homework assignment he'd failed and a stack of quarters to make a shuffleboard court. I watched the monkeys and the zookeepers have their showdown while I sipped the last of my applejuice. "Need more?" Graham asked me without looking up, when my straw skidded against the dry bottom of the box. "Uh uh." "You're supposed to drink juice." "I just drank some." "More, though." I shook my head. "Drink more juice or the monkeys are going to kill you. The only thing they love more than shuffleboard is beating up dehydrated sick boys. ↗

— Hannah Moskowitz

#monkeys #shuffleboard #sickness #love

If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys. ↗

— James Goldsmith

#monkeys #pay #peanuts #you

We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true. ↗

— Robert Wilensky

#internet #monkeys #shakespeare #internet

The puma is, with the exception of some monkeys, the most playful animal in existence. ↗

— William Henry Hudson

#exception #existence #monkeys #most #playful

Do you like flora and fauna? How about plants and animals? Because we have more of that beautiful crap than we know what to do with. Charmingly domesticated troops of monkeys swing freely throughout our orchid-laden property. You’re probably thinking that a lot of all-inclusive resorts have monkeys. True, but only one resort packs a monkey for each of their guests to take home. You’ll be showing off more than a tan to your friends, you’ll be showing off a gibbon. ↗

— Colin Nissan

#funny #humor #monkeys #resorts #beauty