#my

Gay sex, one. Straight sex, zero ↗

— Dani Alexander

#m-m #mystery #ofy #romance #funny

Why did you tell her I'm your boyfriend? Why doesn't she know about your real one? - Timmy He's English! And Mom...Mom hates foreigners! - Cat ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#cat #funny #timmy #funny

So they finally gave you the license to kill, about time. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#funny #vampire-academy-series #funny

I never meant it," he was saying. "Never meant it to happen. Can't stand it, seeing her suffer. Must do something, do something... What do I do? What can I do...? ↗

— Rachel Caine

#funny #ghost-town #humor #morganville-vampires #myrnin

People love mystery, and that is why they love my paintings. ↗

— Salvador Dalí

#mystery #surrealism #art

He told me that if you yelled out "JAMBA!" at full volume, all the employees would yell back "JUICE!" He lied. ↗

— Morgan Matson

#brother #charlie #funny #funny

Slowly we became silent, and silence itself if an enemy to friendship. ↗

— Norman Maclean

#friends #friendship #philosophy #silence #friendship

How did you get in?" "I move in mysterious ways." "God moves in mysterious ways. You move like lightning - here one moment, gone the next. ↗

— Becca Fitzpatrick

#funny #hush-hush #mysterious-ways #nora-and-patch #nora-grey

I'm going to take a shower," I said and prepared for the comment I knew was coming. "You know what they say, conserve water and shower with a friend. ↗

— Chelsea M. Cameron

#funny #hunter-zaccadelli #my-favorite-mistake #shower #taylor-and-hunter

In spite of all the sparring that went on between us, I sort of liked Morelli. Good judgment told me to stand clear of him, but then I've never been a slave to good judgment. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#mystery #stephanie-plum #funny