#na

Haruna: If you don't fall for her, she might kill you!...I'll protect you with all I've got! Yoh: Thanks. Sometimes I feel like I got myself a boyfriend instead of a girlfriend. ↗

— Kazune Kawahara

#humor #yoh #humor

Sometimes you have to give something up to get something better. ↗

— Miranda Kenneally

#inspirational

They said you can't go to the moon. They said you can't put cheese inside a pizza crust, but NASA did it. They had to, because the cheese kept floating off in space. ↗

— Stephen Colbert

#humor-inspirational #inspirational #humor

I’m at the top of my game. And that game is Monopoly. I’m standing on the board right now.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#game #humor #monopoly #pinnacle #humor

The manlier you are, the harder it is to understand what a woman wants: there is not a hint of female brain in you. ↗

— Criss Jami

#anatomy #biological #biology #brain #cognition

We got half the doggone MIT college of engineering here, and nobody who can fix a doggone /television/?" Dr. Joseph Abernathy glared accusingly at the clusters of young people scattered around his living room. That's /electrical/ engineering, Pop," his son told him loftily. "We're all mechanical engineers. Ask a mechanical engineer to fix your color TV, that's like asking an Ob-Gyn to look at the sore on your di-ow!" Oh, sorry," said his father, peering blandly over gold-rimmed glasses. "That your foot, Lenny? ↗

— Diana Gabaldon

#humor #humor

With his eyes and those hands there won't be a woman safe in all the world when he starts hunting after the ladies.' 'Courting, dear,' my father corrected gently. 'Semantics,' she shrugged. ↗

— Patrick Rothfuss

#courtship #humor #humour #kingkiller-chronicle #kvothe

Did you let him know that if he can't see fit to return your blow job immediately, you will have no choice but to sue? ↗

— Meg Cabot

#inspirational #romance #humor

Great idea," I said. "Call the police. Call the fucking police. ↗

— Ava Gardner

#fighting #frank-sinatra #humor #police #humor

I ignored him, concentrating on Lilith. "According to the stories, after you were expelled from Eden you went down into Hell, where you coupled with demons and gave birth to all the monsters that have plagued the world." "I was young," said Lilith. "You know how it is. We all do things we later regret, when we're being rebellious teenagers. ↗

— Simon R. Green

#lilith #monsters #rebellion #teenagers #humor