#non

Instead of a Lemonade Stand, I should open up a “You know what I can’t stand?” Stand. I’ll sell rants in small, medium, and large.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#drink #drinking #entrepreneur #entrepreneurship #funny

Like Alexander the Great and Caesar, I’m out to conquer the world. But first I have to stop at Walmart and pick up some supplies.
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— Jarod Kintz

#alexander-the-great #bizarre #caesar #conquer #funny

Xxxx xxxx x xxxx, xxxxx xxx x xxx xxx x xxxx. Xxxx xxxx xxxx x xxxxx xxxx xx Xxxxxxx. ↗

— Pseudonymous Bosch

#funny #humor #nonsense #pseudonymous #the-name-of-this-book-is-secret

There are three rape scenes that I've had to act in, and none of them have gotten to film. I don't think it's something that should be promoted in any way. ↗

— Joan Severance

#any #film #gotten #had #i

I will take a serious approach to a subject usually treated lightly, which is a nerdy thing to do. ↗

— Benjamin Nugent

#geek #humor #nerd #non-fiction #humor

When you're here, I'm there for you. And when you're there, I'm here for you.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#direction #here #humor #love #noncommittal

The satisfying sound of bone giving way, as well as his outraged cry, made the you-had-it-coming-asshole angles sing. ↗

— J.A. Saare

#humor #ja-saare #renfield-syndrome #rhiannon #rhiannon-s-laws

I felt like that character in Flowers for Algernon. Not Charlie, the lady teacher from the college who realizes, 'I've got to stop dry-humping this mentally challenged guy! ↗

— Tina Fey

#flowers-for-algernon #humor #humor

She liked to imagine that when she passed, the world looked after her, but she also knew how anonymous she was. Except when she was at work, no one knew where she was at any time of day and no one waited for her. It was immaculate anonymity. ↗

— Alice Sebold

#anonymity #inspirational #isolation #imagination

...A person who is headstrong enough to open their eyes and their heart to the full depth and weight of the world is inviting in everything out there - both evil and good, both dark and light, and the sheer bravery of that openness enables them to gain profound insight into the human condition. It also fucks them up. It may even make them more prone to stick their head in an oven than to engage in self-promotional chitchat on Jay Leno. ↗

— Patricia Pearson

#health #humor #inspirational #humor