#nth

But they're already singing our praises!" "They are Americans. They toot their horns for anything. ↗

— Scott Westerfeld

#enthusiasm #humor #humor

After you are here, I will try not to become one of those parents who brag incessantly about their children, who force them to recite the alphabet backward or sing the Lord's Prayer in German to horrified dinner guests. One of those parents who tell people who aren't interested and haven't askd what their progeny's grade-point average is, what school they go to, how handsome and brilliant and psychic they are. If something goes awry and I do become one of those parents, you have my permission to sneak into my bedroom while I am sleeping and pinch my nostrils shut. ↗

— Suzanne Finnamore

#parenthood #humor

We grow up opposing our parents only to become like them enough to oppose our children who behave as we once did—a reminder of how dreadful we were toward those now vindicated grandparents. And you thought God had no sense of humor. ↗

— Richelle E. Goodrich

#god #karma #learning #parenthood #parents

Oh you've redecorated! I don't like it. ↗

— Doctor Who

#doctor-who #eleventh-doctor #humor #matt-smith #sci-fi

In every possible instance Saint Paul begged Christians to restrain themselves to contain their carnal yearnings to live solitary and sexless lives on earth as it is in heaven. "But if they cannot contain " Paul finally conceded then "let them marry for it is better to marry than to burn." Which is perhaps the most begrudging endorsement of matrimony in human history. ↗

— Elizabeth Gilbert

#corinthians #humor #marriage #st-paul #humor

I love you now for what we've already shared, and I love you now in anticipation of all that's to come. ↗

— Nicholas Sparks

#nicholas-sparks #nights-in-rodanthe #love

I used to say to my classes that the ways to get insight are: to study infants; to study animals; to study primitive people; to be psychoanalyzed; to have a religious conversion and get over it; to have a psychotic episode and get over it; or to have a love affair with an old Russian. And I stopped saying that when a little dancer in the front row put up her hand and said, 'Does he have to be old? ↗

— Margaret Mead

#insight #psychology #love

Come near me and I'll rip your wings off and beat you with them. ↗

— Rachel Vincent

#niederwald #rachel-vincent #sabine #diversity

I have that hypocrisy of a parent in that I'm like,'Come on, you've got to toughen up at the same time let me take care of that for you. ↗

— Craig Ferguson

#parenthood #hypocrisy

I spin around on the swivel chair and look up at the ceiling; Oliver being Oliver being Oliver being Oliver. I am suddenly aware of the separation between my-actual-self and myself-as-seen-by-others. Who would win in an arm wrestle? Who is better-looking? Who has the higher IQ? ↗

— Joe Dunthorne

#joe-dunthorne #submarine #introspection