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Read through the most famous quotes by topic #ny
What's with the super soaker?" -Stephine "I had a stork of genius when you called me this morning I said what do I have to do to protect myself from the vampire? And the answer that came to me was holy water! I don't know why I didn't think of this sooner." -Lula "You have the Super Soaker filled with holy water?" -Stephine "Yeah I sucked it out of the church. You know that birdbath thing they got right up front?" -Lula "THe baptismal font?" -Stephine "That's it. They got it filled with holy water, free for the taking." -Lula "Brilliant." -Stephine ↗
I’ve been using the same razor since Occam (William of Ockham) shaved off his beard of excessive assumption. My morning routine is always the same. I wake up, brush my teeth, shower, shave, then I put on my goat costume and go flirt with the shepherd girl who lives in the mountains not far from my cave. ↗
This doesn't mean you're getting a discount." Audrey heaved a mock sigh. "Oh well. I guess I'll have to ply you with sexual favors, then." Gnome choked on the soup. "I'm old enough to be your grandfather!" Audrey winked at him, gathering the empty bags. "But you're not. ↗
Instead of stocks investors should invest in blankets, that way they’ll at least have something to keep them warm after they’ve lost all their money when the company goes under. ↗
#brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #finance #funny
Blankets on the other hand are incredibly needy as they are always trying to fill a “void”. Are a bit whorish in that the instant you walk away from them in less than a minute they’ll be all over someone else, and the moment you actually need them they’re nowhere to be found. ↗
#brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny #humor
Your perception is riveting, Amal," he says in a bored and sarcastic tone, dropping the note down on my desk. "It's comforting to know that there are people in my class who have the maturity and intelligence to make derogatory comments about other people's external appearances." Now what am I supposed to say to that? "What do you have to say for yourself?" Friggin' mind reader. ↗
A brick could be used as the perfect response in one particular situation. Next time someone says, “I love you,” say nothing. Just grab a brick, cradle it with both hands like a kitten, and hold it out to the other person. Whether you want the other person to leave, or whether you want them to stay, the response works flawlessly every time. ↗
Pops added,"you know, they say if you don't vote, you get the government you deserve." "And if you do, you never get the results you expected," (Katherine) replied. ↗
