#ny

I have thought carefully on how to leave this world, and I have concluded that I should exit the same way I entered: through a vagina. But not my mother’s. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #death

To think because you have been “saved” that you are now sane is insanity. God doesn’t fix the mind. He only gives you opportunities to have moments of clarity. It is your job to climb the mountain and see above the clouds for yourself, not to believe the congregation's interpretation of the view. ↗

— Shannon L. Alder

#brainwashed #personal-truth #religion #seeking-god #testimony

The hard core of morality and even of religion seems to me to be just what makes good comedy possible...Where there is no norm, nothing can be ridiculous, except for a brief moment of unbalanced provincialism in which we may laugh at the merely unfamiliar. Unless there is something about which the author is never ironical, there can be no true irony in the work. ↗

— C.S. Lewis

#humor #irony #morality #principles #writing

My love has made me selfish. I cannot exist without you – I am forgetful of every thing but seeing you again – my Life seems to stop there – I see no further. You have absorb'd me. I have a sensation at the present moment as though I was dissolving – I should be exquisitely miserable without the hope of soon seeing you ... I have been astonished that Men could die Martyrs for religion – I have shudder'd at it – I shudder no more – I could be martyr'd for my Religion – Love is my religion – I could die for that – I could die for you. ↗

— John Keats

#john-keats #love #poetry #romance #life

If any foreign minister begins to defend to the death a "peace conference," you can be sure his government has already placed its orders for new battleships and airplanes. ↗

— Joseph Stalin

#any #begins #conference #death #defend

...Come on let’s see the degree.” Katherine unrolled her scroll displaying a long declaration in Latin affixed with a red seal proclaiming her a Master of Art. “Imagine working for years to obtain a piece of paper we can hardly read ” Katherine joked. “And to officially declare you have talent ” Suzy returned. ↗

— E.A. Bucchianeri

#college-degree #credentials #degree #funny #humor

When someone hands you a broom, get a few buckets of paint. That is how a janitor becomes an impressionist. If the 19th century French style could improve upon nature, it can make your floor look clean. ↗

— Bauvard

#brooms #cleaning #custodians #funny #humor

Good man and bad man with money goes a long ways." ~ Amunhotep El Bey ↗

— Amunhotep El Bey

#funny #funny-quotes #philosophical-quotations #philosophy #quote

A last trick is to become personal, insulting and rude as soon as you perceive that your opponent has the upper hand. In becoming personal you leave the subject altogether, and turn your attack on the person by remarks of an offensive and spiteful character. This is a very popular trick, because everyone is able to carry it into effect. ↗

— Arthur Schopenhauer

#art

Jihadist: A man born into wanderlust who tries to grow roots by planting weeds; Death's freedom fighter. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #jihad #terrorism #death