#ny

I didn't want to wake up. I was having a much better time asleep. And that's really sad. ↗

— Ned Vizzini

#sleep #wake-up #funny

Willpower subverts passion. Bureaucracy subverts willpower. Idiocy subverts bureaucracy. ↗

— Bauvard

#desire #funny #humor #idiots #willpower

Well, first you have to be very, very funny. I have realized that it is essential for a boy to be funny. Otherwise, what is the point in a boy? ↗

— Jaclyn Moriarty

#funny #funny

Shane, honey, in Morganville, friends are the only things that keep you alive. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#morganville-vampires #the-dead-girls-dance #funny

Her brain is like a filing cabinet – everything neatly stored in categories. My brain is more like soup – everything all blended and mushed together. ↗

— Cat Clarke

#laine-s-fave #funny

I strike fear into you because I am a man?" "It isn't funny." "I do not laugh. It is a sad thing, yes, that your husband is a man. A very terrible thing. ↗

— Catherine Anderson

#hunter-loretta #funny

She shuddered. “What is it with slobbery kissers? Are they trying to drown us in spit? I mean, Jesus, swallow every now and then. ↗

— Tammara Webber

#gross #kissing #laugh-out-loud #funny

It's funny how things work out sometimes. ↗

— Anthony Horowitz

#funny

As Confucius once said, "He who does nothing is the one who does nothing."' Gabby pondered the words, the furrowed her brow. 'did Confucius really say that?' Sunglasses in place, Stephanie managed the tiniest of shrugs. 'No, but who cared? The point is, they handled, and most likely they found some sort of self-satisfaction in their industrious-ness. Who am I to deprive them of that?' Gabby put her hands on her hips. 'Or maybe you just wanted to be lazy.' Stephanie grinned. 'Like Jesus said, "Blessed are the lazy who lie in boats, for they shall inherit a suntan."' 'Jesus didn't say that.' 'True,' Stephanie afreed, sitting up. She removed her glasses, stared through them, then wiped them on a towel. 'But again, who cares? ↗

— Nicholas Sparks

#funny

No guest rooms.” I shake my head resolutely. “I want to be in a room room. A lived-in room. ↗

— Lauren Oliver

#living #funny