#ok

Zip it kiddo. Don't ever admit you know a thing about cooking or it'll be used against you later in life. ↗

— Rebecca Wells

#humor #humor

...the primary paradox that man is superior to all the things around him and yet is at their mercy. ↗

— G.K. Chesterton

#humor #humour #jokes #humor

B looked down the shaft, at a metal ladder and darkness beyond. "Me first?" Of course. You're the apprentice, so you always go first into the unknown. If anyone's going to be eaten by a grue, it should be you." Tough job. But at least the hours are terrible. ↗

— Tim Pratt

#humor #magic #spell #humor

A body is a body." Viscarro shrugged his bony shoulders. "Dead, alive, alive, dead. I fail to see the importance of the distinction." Yeah? So you'd just as soon fuck a living person as a dead one? What's the point of the distinction? Oh, right-one's normal, and one's called necrophilia." Viscarro sighed. "Touche, I suppose. ↗

— Tim Pratt

#humor #magic #spell #humor

In 1800s Paris, women were prohibited from studying the nude human form, because this would've ruined the wedding-night surprise. (Surprise! It's a penis.) ↗

— Cracked.com

#humor #humor

I'm an open book. But some of the pages are stuck together. ↗

— Kelli Jae Baeli

#humor #open-book #pages #humor

Now, public libraries are most admirable institutions, but they have one irritating custom. They want their books back. ↗

— Cecil B. DeMille

#humor #libraries #humor

The answer to all of life's problems are out there somewhere its just a question of finding the right book ↗

— Tammy Blackwell

#humor

I decided long ago that life's absurd. If you don't develop a sense of humor, it will drive you mad. ↗

— James Maxey

#age

With no reason to hide these words I feel, and no reason to talk about the books I read, but still, I do. ↗

— Morrissey

#humor #life #lyrics #music #humor