#om

I think he could handle being used. It would be good for him. He's having trouble sleeping. ↗

— Victoria Dahl

#romance #humor

I'm still trying to figure out the secret relationship between the woman and the mall! ↗

— Ibrahim Taha

#ibrahim-taha #puzzled #quotes #saying #shopping

Roger said, 'I don't know about having a shrink around all the time. Are you analyzing me right now?' Sophie rolled her eyes. 'How original. No, I'm not analyzing you. It'd take a whole team of shrinks to figure out your crazy ass, and I simply don't have the time or energy. ↗

— Jennifer Lane

#new-job #psychologist #romance #romantic-suspense #with-good-behavior

I want to take ye to bed. In my bed. And I mean to spend the rest of the day thinking what to do wit ye once I got ye there. So wee Archie can just go and play at marbles with his bollucks, aye? ↗

— Diana Gabaldon

#love #romance #humor

Paranoia is just a heightened state of awareness. I didn't say it, but I repeat it often enough. ↗

— Gerald Everett Jones

#humor #humor

I'm married. And pregnant. ↗

— Edan Lepucki

#impromptu-humor #marriage #what-the-hell #humor

She had a voice so husky it could have pulled a dogsled, and the gun she was holding gave me a bad case of barrel envy. ↗

— Patrick Major Dallas OR

#dogs #gun #humor #husky #metaphor

You know, you can always do a three some.” “A three some?” I frowned. “No.” He shrugged. “Just a thought.” “Yeah, a dumb one,” I spat. “Hey! I didn’t call your idea to re-wallpaper the kitchen a dumb idea!” “You have a problem with the new paper?” I demanded. “Pop, please, it’s hideous,” Trick said. ↗

— Kira

#comedy #humor #humor

Tom leaned in and spoke in a low, confidential voice, "Sir. You have a little something..." He lifted his forefinger surreptitiously to his own upper lip. Harrison brought his hand to his mustache to brush something off it, his eyes questioning. "What is it?" "Carpet remnant?" Tom suggested. ↗

— Jez Morrow

#m-m-romance #humor

When she got back from taking Cassie to school Fancy knew that she ought to be working on her wilderness romance. She had promised thirty thousand words to her editor by tomorrow, and she had only written eleven. Specifically: His rhinoceros smelled like a poppadom: sweaty, salty, strange and strong. Her editor would cut that line. ↗

— Jaclyn Moriarty

#humor #romance-novel #writers #writers-block #humor