#ombies

I suppose I knew on an intellectual level that graves weren't especially made for getting out of. I mean, you start with a hermetically sealed casket and then you dump six feet of dirt on top of it. Over time the earth gets compacted, which can't make it easy to dig through. So even if you're a very angry and determined zombie, you've kind of got your work cut out for you just escaping from the grave. Which was, I suppose, why we got hit with an initial wave of zombie bugs, birds and rodents. I bet some people would say if you've never picked undead mosquitoes out of your teeth, you've never lived. Under that definition, I'd be just as happy to have not lived, thanks. ↗

— C.E. Murphy

#zombies #humor

If you love someone, you're not supposed to want them to come back. Better a peaceful sleep in the earth than the life of a zombie--not really dead but not really alive, either. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#love #zombies #death

Nothing is impossible to kill. It's just that sometimes after you kill something you have to keep shooting it until it stops moving ↗

— Mira Grant

#funny #possibilities #shooting #zombies #death

The truth was, neither the Central Intelligence Agency nor any of the other official and unofficial U.S. intelligence organizations have ever been some kind of all-seeing, all-knowing, global illuminati. For starters, we never hand that kind of funding. ↗

— Max Brooks

#zombies #intelligence

Trying, trying, always trying. Trying was my life. I was guaranteed nothing. ↗

— Lia Habel

#perserverance #zombies-hope #life

What did the zombie say to the whore? Keep the tip! ↗

— Diana Rowland

#vaginal-fantasy #zombies #life

Hippos are the very definition of Disney cute. There is no way you could look at a big, fat, squishy, huggable hippo and not think, "Id she could talk like a human, she would sound just like Jada Pinkett Smith and be oh so sassy." You would totally name her Sassy-baskets, and she would be your tutu-wearing, ballet-dancing, strut-walking pal for life. Just you and Sassy-baskets against the world! ↗

— Cracked.com

#humor #internet #sassy #zombies #life

I love zombies. If any monster could Riverdance, it would be zombies. ↗

— Craig Ferguson

#monsters #zombies #love

Build mutual friendships. Just be ready to end them when your friends start trying to eat you. ↗

— Jesse Petersen

#married-with-zombies #zombies #friendship

Hands and lips and teeth, and you'd forgotten-no, you'd never known-this way of knowing someone, this dissolution of self, this autophagy. ↗

— Alaya Dawn Johnson

#zombies #love