#ombies

The monkey didn't help matters any. He was sitting on top of the microbus, just watching the undead plunge to their end. His face appeared so serene, so intelligent, as if he truly understood the situation. I almost wanted him to turn to me and say, 'This is the turning point of the war! We've finally stopped them! We're finally safe!' But instead his little penis popped out and he peed in my face. ↗

— Max Brooks

#monkey #zombies #humor

It doesn't matter what clothes you had or what shoes you had, or how cool you were, or how many Facebook friends you garnered, what will matter in the end is what weapons you had, how many zombies you killed, and how long you survived. ↗

— Caleb Eversole

#caleb-eversole #funny #humor #zombies #funny

I turned on Fox News and jumped when I saw that they had one of those things in their studio. "Are you people crazy?" I screamed at the television. "Get out of there. Somebody shoot it!" Then I realized I was watching Special Report and had mistaken Charles Krauthammer for a zombie. ↗

— Ian McClellan

#media #political #politics #satire #zombies

He could wear hats. He could wear an assortment of hats of different shapes and styles. Boater hats, cowboy hats, bowler hats. The list went on. Pork-pie hats, bucket hats, trillbies and panamas. Top hats, straw hats, trapper hats. Wide brim narrow brim, stingy brim. He could wear a fez. Fezzes were cool. Hadn't someone once said that fezzes were cool? He was pretty aur ether had. And they were. They were cool. ↗

— Derek Landy

#fezzes #hats #skull #zombies #style

I sighed. I hate the vamp jobs. They think they're so suave. It's not enough for them to slaughter and eat you like a zombie would. No, they want it to be all sexy, too. And, trust me: vampires? Not. Sexy. I mean, sure, their glamours can be pretty hot, but the dry-as-bone corpse bodies shimmering underneath? Nothing attractive there. ↗

— Kiersten White

#ya-urban-fantasy #young-adult-fantasy #young-adult-lurban-fantasy #zombies

...and we'll see what happens when we say Yes while this rigor mortis world screams No. ↗

— Isaac Marion

#hope #hopeful #inspirational #rebellion #rebellious

You know, surprisingly, they don't sell a lot of brains in the local 24-hour grocery store around the corner from my house. ↗

— Rusty Fischer

#zombies #love

I was very athletic when I was younger and I am a very competitive person, so I never give up. ↗

— Izabella Scorupco

#going #just #keep #shooting #them

Then I had another one of my well-researched epiphanies. His constant use of Purell, his love of video games, his lack of friends, planet gazing, and flail-run. “You’re a zombie,” I gasped. “No. I’m not,” he said. I went back to the vampire theory. ↗

— Harvard Lampoon

#nightlight #parody #twilight #vampires #zombies

We always kept in our hearts the most noble, beautiful feeling that sets human beings apart: hope. ↗

— Manel Loureiro

#life #survival #zombies #beauty