#omen

Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think - in a deeper voice. ↗

— Bill Cosby

#deeper #hear #think #voice #want

I'd much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships. ↗

— Gilda Radner

#women #humor

Anyone who has no need of anybody but himself is either a beast or a God." Aristotle ↗

— Bruce Wayne Sullivan

#animals #childhood-memories #dogs #good-book #life-struggles

Learn from yesterday, live for today, look to tomorrow, rest this afternoon. ↗

— Charles M. Schulz

#humor #live-in-the-moment #napping #humor

When a man plans, a woman laughs. ↗

— David Wong

#humour #men #paraphrased #plans #women

Principled hate is a hell of a lot stronger than "Boy, I wish you hadn't mummified me and thrown me into the lake" hate. ↗

— John Green

#humor #humor

I'd made the vampire cry. Great. I felt like a real superhero. Harry Dresden, breaker of monsters' hearts. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #women #humor

When something needs to be said, you look for a man to say it. But when something needs actually to be done, you look for a woman. ↗

— P.B. Kerr

#men #women #humor

And before you barrel through some idiotic Cosmo girl list of how-well-do-you-know-your-man questions, let me say that I don't know squat about him except that he kisses like a god and screws like a devil. ↗

— Kristin Hannah

#women #humor

...Whenever someone says to me, 'Jerry Lewis says women aren't funny,' or 'Christopher Hitchens says women aren't funny,' or 'Rick Fenderman says women aren't funny... Do you have anything to say to that?' Yes. We don't fucking care if you like it. I don't say it out loud, of course, because Jerry Lewis is a great philanthropist, Hitchens is very sick, and the third guy I made up. ↗

— Tina Fey

#feminism #humor #women #funny