#on

Georgie, stop trying to resurrect the shoes. They were never alive in the first place. ↗

#ilona-andrews #kids #on-the-edge #humor

Down in the water, Octavian yelled, “Get me out of here! I’ll kill you!” “Tempting,” Percy called down. ↗

#humor #octavian #percy-jackson #percy-jackson-and-the-olympians #the-mark-of-athena

Your mum pounced on her and started sucking away. Would’ve been arousing if not for all the screaming.” “Ian,” Bones drew out warningly. He grinned. “You’re right. I was aroused anyway. ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#humor #ian #humor

People usually asked her if she had a belly button. Of course she had a belly button. She couldn't explain how. She didn't really want to know. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#bellybutton #humor #humor

Insurgents throughout Iraq continue to threaten our efforts and pose a danger to stability in the region. They fight not for their country, but rather against ours. ↗

— Paul Gillmor

#continue #country #danger #efforts #fight

If I behave as though this is a completely normal situation, then maybe it will be ... ↗

— Sophie Kinsella

#pretend #situation #humor

You want sensitive and understanding, stick with the therapist.You want great, headbanging sex, get off the fucking phone and come with me. ↗

— Jennifer Crusie

#seduction #humor

Between hello and goodbye is I love you.  ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#hello #humor #love #relationships #humor

I commend my soul to any god that can find it. ↗