#on

Haggis" is a brand of nappies.' I said. 'They're good, we used them for our daughter.' 'Haggis is a kind of food too,' said Semyon, shaking his head. 'Although as far as taste goes, there's probably not much difference. ↗

— Sergei Lukyanenko

#haggis #humor #semyon #food

I'm here to tell you, there ain't much forgiveness in that old-time religion. That particular savior was a mean son of a bitch. If you sinned, honey, he was going to get you, no doubt about it. ↗

— Ava Gardner

#forgiveness #god #humor #religion #sin

I can see that an insufficent, or perhaps even defective, socialization process has led you to believe that four-letter words add power to languauge ↗

— Preston and Child

#humor #pendergast #preston #still-life-with-crows #humor

It is possible to compromise in certain areas when choosing a partner for life, but never on a cravat. ↗

— Amanda Grange

#relationships #romance #humor

Ew, sicko. I was practicing Edomic." "Sure you were," Jason said. "You're just too embarrassed to admit you were playing hide-and-seek all alone. Rachel hiding, nobody seeking. ↗

— Brandon Mull

#brandon #humor #jason #mull #rachel

Senator, I make it a point never to do math in public. ↗

— Paul W.

#inspirational #math #politics #humor

I may not always walk the straight and narrow, but I sure in hell try to cross it as often as I can. ↗

— J. Golden Kimball

#religion #humor

Want to play hangman? asks Theophile, and I ache to tell him that I have enough on my plate playing quadriplegic. But my communication system disqualifies repartee: the keenest rapier grows dull and falls flat when it takes several minutes to thrust it home. By the time you strike, even you no longer understand what had seemed so witty before you started to dictate it, letter by letter. So the rule is to avoid impulsive sallies. It deprives conversation of its sparkle, all those gems you bat back and forth like a ball-and I count this forced lack of humor one of the great drawbacks of my condition. ↗

— Jean-Dominique Bauby

#conversation #locked-in-syndrome #repartee #communication

Normally writers do not talk much,because they are saving their conversations for the readers of their book- those invisible listeners with whom we wish to strike a sympathetic chord. ↗

— Ruskin Bond

#humor

It's great to be alive, isn't it? Especially when you consider the alternative. ↗

— Jonathan Ross

#inspirational #humor