#or

Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no lies. ↗

— Oliver Goldsmith

#humor #lies #questions #sarcasm #wit

I like to spoon after I fork. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#fork #funny #humor #spoon #witty

The older I grow, the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom. ↗

— H.L. Mencken

#humor #old #wisdom #age

Alice laughed. 'There's no use trying,' she said. 'One can't believe impossible things.' I daresay you haven't had much practice,' said the Queen. 'When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast. There goes the shawl again! ↗

— Lewis Carroll

#breakfast #humor #impossible #age

It’s a comforting thought knowing that no matter how old I get, I can always get older. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#comforting-thought #getting-older #age

You tell me you love me, but I’m not sure you know what love is, or how fast it flies, or how much it resembles a UFO, or what kind of weapon you’d use to shoot it down. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#aliens #extra-terrestrial #flies #fly #flying

I wanted to tell her “I love you” back, but I guess in waiting for the perfect moment (the next commercial break), I ended up completely forgetting. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #insensitive #love #age

You'd be surprised how many people in the modern age no longer fear zombies as much as teletubies. ↗

— Sherrilyn Kenyon

#age

There is such a place as fairyland - but only children can find the way to it. And they do not know that it is fairyland until they have grown so old that they forget the way. One bitter day, when they seek it and cannot find it, they realize what they have lost; and that is the tragedy of life. On that day the gates of Eden are shut behind them and the age of gold is over. Henceforth they must dwell in the common light of common day. Only a few, who remain children at heart, can ever find that fair, lost path again; and blessed are they above mortals. They, and only they, can bring us tidings from that dear country where we once sojourned and from which we must evermore be exiles. The world calls them its singers and poets and artists and story-tellers; but they are just people who have never forgotten the way to fairyland. ↗

— L.M. Montgomery

#storygirl #writing #age

Just remember, when you’re over the hill, you begin to pick up speed. ↗

— Charles M. Schulz

#humor #age