#or

Got to be worth a try, I suppose," said Crowley. "It's not as if I haven't got lots of other work to do, God knows." His forehead creased for a moment, and then he slapped the steering wheel triumphantly. "Ducks!" he shouted. "What?" "That's what water slides off!" Aziraphale took a deep breath. "Just drive the car, please," he said wearily. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor

I can't be good ALL the time. ↗

— Anne Taintor

#humor

Seth trotted over to Kendra. Bringing good luck as usual It was a weak pass okay ↗

— Brandon Mull

#humor

I hear you’re single now.” Aaron gave a white-toothed smile and tossed his hair. “Where did you hear that?” Scarlet cocked her head, hoping to find the leak. He pulled his stool over and sat down. “A little bird told me.” Why did people use that saying? Little birds didn’t talk. They chirped. And, unless Aaron spoke bird, he certainly wasn’t deciphering any bird chirpings. ↗

— Chelsea Fine

#humor

90% of the work in this country is done by people who don't feel good". ↗

— Theodore Roosevelt

#humor

Bobby Tom: You're supposed to be my assistant, not a baby-sitter! Gracie: One and the same. ↗

— Susan Elizabeth Phillips

#humor

Have you any other objection than your belief of my indifference?" - Elizabeth Bennet ↗

— Jane Austen

#romance #humor

There's always a but. It's a magical word. You can say anything you want, go on for as long as you want, and then all you have to do is add the magic word and instantly everything you said is erased, turned meaningless, just like that. ↗

— Charles Benoit

#truth #humor

No, we’re talking Brad and Johnny need to bow down and recognize,” Jacque answered. (about fane) ↗

— Quinn Loftis

#prince-of-wolves #wolves #humor

That you honestly believe I am capable of hurting innocent people for no reason.” “You’re not?” I asked, hope softening my voice. “Oh, no, I’m more than capable. I just didn’t realize you knew that. ↗

— Darynda Jones

#humor