#or

Oh, goodie," Puck said as I stepped forward. "I'm going to have a rash in the most uncomfortable places. ↗

And if you say that's because you lot barged into her home like a herd of mentally deficient sheep, I'm disowning all three of you. ↗

— Julia Quinn

#julia-quinn #romance #humor

There is no greater glory than love, nor any great punishment than jealously. ↗

— Lope de Vega

#any #glory #great #greater #jealously

HOROSCOPE: Today is a good time for making new friends. A good deed may have unforeseen consequences. Don’t upset any druids. You will soon be going on a very strange journey. Your lucky food is small cucumbers. People pointing knives at you are probably up to no good. PS, we really mean it about the druids. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#food

I’m glad scrambled eggs don’t have lips, because when I’m grinning over a hearty breakfast, it would really freak me out to see my breakfast grinning back. I’ve eaten a man for less than that. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #breakfast #eaten #funny #grinning

Nathan nods. "Have a good time. Don't do anything I wouldn't do." I hear Andy as I'm walking out the front door. "Honey, that threat doesn't work when you're gay. ↗

— Stephanie Perkins

#humor

Humor was a good way to hide the pain. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#pain #humor

For every problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong. ↗

— H.L. Mencken

#humor #humor

Riley : "Do you want to claw at me, kitty-cat? Come on." Mercy: "Sorry, I don't beat defenseless puppies. ↗

— Nalini Singh

#humor #humor

Mr. McGregor's a nasty piece of work, isn't he? Quite the Darth Vader of children's literature. ↗