#or

I've become more relaxed. When I was younger, I had more erratic, nervous tension when I was working. ↗

— John Singleton

#erratic #had #i #more #nervous

I was quite a looker in my time," she said. Was she reading his mind, or only being smart, to know she must be hideous? "Oh, had they invented time as long ago as that? ↗

— Gregory Maguire

#old-age #age

The longest 60 seconds in the world occur when someone says, “I’ll be there in a minute.”
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #late #minute #time #waiting

People have accused me of being in favor of globalization. This is equivalent to accusing me of being in favor of the sun rising in the morning. ↗

— Clare Short

#accusing #being #equivalent #favor #globalization

I'm over the hill for come-on lines. On a quiet day, I can hear my liver rotting. For exercise, I fall down. ~ Clete ↗

— James Lee Burke

#humor #pick-up-lines #age

I’ll tell you what love is. Love is walking up and down Archer Road in Gainesville, Florida and feeling like Cupid. Too bad the cops took issue with me hitch hiking with a bow and arrow. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #gainesville #humor #love #age

It's enough to make me laugh. I close the door behind me and sit down again, considering this, and truly, I find it so funny that I laugh until I cry. And when the tears come I think aah... So this is what it means to be alone. ↗

— John Boyne

#john-boyne #the-house-of-special-purpose #funny

There was still plenty of water in the basement, and I felt it soaking me from the knees on down. If someone wanted to torture me until I told them a critical piece of information, all they would have to do is get my socks wet. It feels terrible. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#interrogation #socks #torture #funny

Remember, God provides the best camouflage several hours out of every 24. ↗

— David M. Shoup

#best #camouflage #every #god #hours

The face staring back at me isn't beautiful but she isn't something that would scare the horses, either. ↗

— Libba Bray

#beauty