#or

He who laughs last ... just didn't get the joke. ↗

— Carroll Bryant

#funny-but-true #humor #humorous #humorous-quotes #funny

I know how to tell a woman I love her in seventeen syllables or less. I’m not talking about a haiku, I’m talking about grunts from an orgasm. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#haiku #orgasm #funny

Life Is Too Short--So Kiss Slowly, Laugh Insanely, Love Truly, And Live With Passion. ↗

— Andy Vogt

#erotic-massage #humor #massage #mysteries #paperbacks

What have you done to your hair?” Mom’s broken voice said, pinning me back to this tiny hospital room. “Holy shit!” Icka patted her head as if searching. “You think the nurse stole it? She looked shady. ↗

— Phoebe Kitanidis

#humor #icka #kitanidis #phoebe #whisper

He tends to go for girls who are-Shelby, honey? Put your hands over your ears for just a sec.” Back into the phone he said, “He likes the real slutty ones. Ow!” he yelled when he received a whop to the back of the head. ↗

— Robyn Carr

#funny #humour #romance #funny

I spilled spot remover on my dog; now he's gone. ↗

— Stephen Wright

#humor #funny

I wish my nose would blow me for once. ↗

— Brian Celio

#humor #funny

Put me down, I’m too heavy.” “You’re small enough to fit in my pocket. ↗

— Sarah Mayberry

#funny #humour #romance #funny

I’m a union man. When I apply for employment I add ‘and wife’ to my personhood status so I can qualify for benefits, like sexual harassment. ↗

— Benson Bruno

#funny #humor #funny

Myth: drawing from history to prime students for learning it after it’s too late. ↗

— Benson Bruno

#history #humor #myth #funny