#or

It's snowing still," said Eeyore gloomily. "So it is." "And freezing." "Is it?" "Yes," said Eeyore. "However," he said, brightening up a little, "we haven't had an earthquake lately. ↗

— A.A. Milne

#optimism #humor

God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players [i.e. everybody], to being involved in an obscure and complex variant of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#gaiman #god #humor #humor

When in danger or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout. ↗

— Herman Wouk

#humor #humor

That wasn't any act of God. That was an act of pure human fuckery. ↗

— Stephen King

#humor #humor

As long as there was coffee in the world, how bad could things be? ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #optimism #solace #humor

I don't mean to be rude—" he began, in a tone that threatened rudeness in every syllable. "Yet, sadly, accidental rudeness occurs alarmingly often," Dumbledore finished the sentence gravely. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#rude #humor

Never travel faster than your guardian angel can fly. ↗

— Mother Teresa

#inspirational #humor

Mistletoe," said Luna dreamily, pointing at a large clump of white berries placed almost over Harry's head. He jumped out from under it. "Good thinking," said Luna seriously. "It's often infested with nargles. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor #humor

I told Augustus the broad outline of my miracle: diagnosed with Stage IV thyroid cancer when I was thirteen. (I didn’t tell him that the diagnosis came three months after I got my first period. Like: Congratulations! You’re a woman. Now die.) ↗

— John Green

#diagnosis #humor #john-green #humor

I like men who have a future and women who have a past. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#humor #men #women #humor