#or

The door banged open and Eve rushed out, flushed and mussed and still buttoning her shirt. "It's not what you think." She said. "It was just - oh OK, whatever, it was exactly what you think. Now WHAT? ↗

— Rachel Caine

#paranormal #romance #humor

Why are you limping like that?' Nicholas demanded. I'm swaggering,' I informed him. You look like you're wearing a diaper.' Charming. And I had a crush on this guy. Wait. I had a crush on this guy? Now what?' he asked. 'You're making weird faces.' Nothing,' I said quickly. "Never mind. ↗

— Alyxandra Harvey

#crush #hearts-at-stake #humor #humor

Am I about to discover where you, Ron, and Hermione disappeared to while you were supposed to be in the back room of Fred and George's shop?" How did you...?" Harry, please. You're talking to the man who raised Fred and George. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor

I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals, I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants. ↗

— A. Whitney Brown

#humor

Room service? Send up a larger room." [A Night at the Opera] ↗

— Groucho Marx

#hotels #humor #room-service #humor

Piece of Heaven?" "No, that other place I'm going to go to for thinking what I'm thinking. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#heaven #hell #humor #sydney-sage #the-indigo-spell

Humor is what happens when we're told the truth quicker and more directly than we're used to. ↗

— George Saunders

#humour #humor

Neither were you [born yesterday], unless of course I am wrong, in which case welcome to the world, little baby, and congratulations on learning to read so early in life. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#humor

Drinking is fun! It makes me feel horrible and sexy! ↗

— Warren Ellis

#drinking #humor #humor

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die. ↗

— Mel Brooks

#humor #tragedy #humor