#or

Right now I'm doing four shows at a time, trying to read four outlines every week, four scripts every week, and watching four rough cuts; it's a lot of good work. It's fun to do it, but it does wear you out. ↗

— Aaron Spelling

#does #doing #every #four #fun

At least you left out the oh-my-God sauce this time." "Made myself a batch with it," Shane said. "It's got the biohazard sticker on it in the fridge, so don't bitch if you get flamed. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#chilli #funny #morganville-vampires #funny

Maybe it was me," Grandma said."Sometimes they sneak out.Did I fart? ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#granmda-mazur #humor #stephanie-plum #funny

What are you thinking of so earnestly?" said he, as they walked back to the ballroom; "not of your partner, I hope, for, by that shake of the head, your meditations are not satisfactory." Catherine coloured, and said, "I was not thinking of anything." That is artful and deep, to be sure; but I had rather be told at once that you will not tell me." Well then, I will not." Thank you; for now we shall soon be acquainted, as I am authorized to tease you on this subject whenever we meet, and nothing in the world advances intimacy so much. ↗

— Jane Austen

#art

Stroking a blob as it rolled along her face with one hand, and with the other gently grasping a lump on the back of her accident-prone head, I told my sweet sack of potatoes I knew just what she needed. A thermometer reading. ↗

— Benson Bruno

#consolation #funny #thermometer #funny

I'm courteous to most, but antisocial among polite society. ↗

— Benson Bruno

#humor #manners #funny

When in doubt, ignore and be horribly unimpressed ↗

— Laurell K. Hamilton

#ignorance

I want to wear baby halos as hospital bracelets to protest abortion. I'll tell my doctor I don't need any treatment - I was born a survivor. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #funny

For most vampires, it's an automatic response - scent blood, fangs drop. ↗