#ow

You need to stop thinking with your head, Mud Boy, and start thinking with your heart.” Artemis sighed. The heart was an organ for pumping oxygen-rich blood to the cells. It could no more think than an apple could tap-dance. ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#love #mulch #humor

Lucifer will be furious with you for failing, but it's not like he can do anything about it. Women don't always do what you want, even if you're Lord of the Underworld. ↗

— Trinity Faegen

#humor #strong-willed #women #humor

So what if those stupid roosters don't want to crow? If we've learned to live without men, we can learn to live without cocks. ↗

— James Cañón

#humor #james-cañón #magic-realism #mariquita #tales-from-the-town-of-widows

I am no coward sir! I shall stand and fight!" "Well, I am," said Sal. "So can we go... please? ↗

— Alex Scarrow

#bravery #cowardice #eternal-war #humor #humor

There's my baby!" I cried, quite carried away, "There's my poochiekins!" ... "Sadie," My dad said firmly, "Please do not refer to the devourer of souls as 'poochiekins'. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#children-s #humor #mythology #serpent-in-the-shadows #humor

He bowed jokingly, and everyone laughed as Mrs.Anderson shook her head. "Did you even read the material?" "of course I did." "Who was the leader of the North?" "Lincoln." "No, he was the president." "Yes, which means he was the fucking leader of everyone." -- Carmine ↗

— J.M. Darhower

#darhower #humor #sempre #humor

There are no things man was not meant to know. There are, perhaps, things man is too dumb to figure out, but that's a different problem. ↗

— Michael Kurland

#humor #logic #science #humor

Young people, nowadays, imagine that money is everything. Yes, murmured Lord Henry, settling his button-hole in his coat; and when they grow older they know it. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#imagine #know #money #old #sarcasm

My teacher asked my favorite color. ... I said ‘Rainbow’.... and I was punished to stand out of my class. ↗

— Saket Assertive

#humor #life #philosophy #rainbow #humor

But, you know, I feel more fellowship with the defeated than with saints. Heroism and sanctity don't really appeal to me, I imagine. What interests me is being a man. ↗

— Albert Camus

#genuine #humanism #imagination