#ow

I ain't never seen a creature like that before, she says. He's so smart, he's- More, like a person than a bird? I says. Yeah, she says. That's it. Whatever you do, I says, don't tell him that. I'll never hear the end of it. ↗

— Moira Young

#blood-red-road #crow #funny #maev #nero

The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A Genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. ↗

— Joe Theismann

#stupid #wow #funny

He didn't want me to get hurt? Wow. Just wow. I might actually be close to a swoon here ↗

— Jessica Verday

#funny #jessica-verday #the-hollow #funny

Was it animal pee or human pee? Someone asked. How would I know? What, am I an expert in the study of pee? ↗

— John Green

#humor #paper #pee #towns #funny

Did you know it takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile? I know, because yesterday was in a bad mood, and I guess I must have frowned too much because this morning I woke up with a torn groin muscle. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#frown #funny #groin #smile #funny

I think we should model parts of the English language after the Inuits, who have 52 words for snow. Why don't we have 52 words for love? Instead, I have to rely on metaphors like, Her love was as pure as yellow snow. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#love #snow #funny

What?" she asked again. He pointed ahead of them. "See that?" "What, the snow?" "Beyond that." "More snow?" "Stop looking at the snow. ↗

— Derek Landy

#humour #snow #yeti #funny

Be careful you don't cut yourself. The edges are sharp enough to shave with.' 'Girls don't shave', Arya said. 'Maybe they should. Have you ever seen the septa's legs? ↗

— George R.R. Martin

#a-song-of-ice-and-fire #arya-stark #cutting #funny #george-r-r-martin

Um i'm happy to sit close to you and everything, but i had no idea you would like it so much,' Paris muttered. ↗

— Gena Showalter

#showalter #funny

I never meant it," he was saying. "Never meant it to happen. Can't stand it, seeing her suffer. Must do something, do something... What do I do? What can I do...? ↗

— Rachel Caine

#funny #ghost-town #humor #morganville-vampires #myrnin