#p

Halt eyed them balefully. They were all being so obvious about not mentioning his sudden reappearance that it was even worse than if they had commented on it... 'Oh, go on!' he said. 'Somebody say something! I know what you're thinking!' 'It's good to see you up and about, Halt,' Selethen said gravely... Halt glared at the others and they quickly chorused their pleasure at seeing him back to his normal self. But he could see the grins they didn't quite manage to hide. He fixed a glare on Alyss. 'I'm surprised at you Alyss,' he said. 'I expected no better of Will and Evanlyn, of course. Heartless beasts, the pair of them. But you! I thought you had been better trained!'... 'Halt, I'm sorry! It's not funny, you're right... Shut up, Will.' This last was directed at Will as he tried, unsuccessfully, to smother a snigger. ↗

— John Flanagan

#evanlyn #halt #laughter #ranger-s-apprentice #seasickness

I could name my penis Steve, and it would be appropriate, as it is sort of shaped like my dad’s face, whose name is Steve. Not just his face, but his whole body and person is named Steve. And he’s a dick. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #penis #funny

Slowly we became silent, and silence itself if an enemy to friendship. ↗

— Norman Maclean

#friends #friendship #philosophy #silence #friendship

David tells me that fairies never say 'We feel happy': what they say is, 'We feel dancey'. ↗

— J.M. Barrie

#david #fairy #fantasy #funny #happy

Percy: I thought I’d lost my mom forever, and I was stuck on a hill in a thunderstorm fighting this huge bull dude while Grover was passed out wailing. “Food!” It was terrifying, man. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#percy-jackson #food

Imperio!” Moody jerked his wand, and the spider rose onto two of its hind legs and went into what was unmistakably a tap dance. Everyone was laughing — everyone except Moody. “Think it’s funny, do you?” he growled. “You’d like it, would you, if I did it to you?” The laughter died away almost instantly. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#mad-eye-moody #spells #spiders #tap-dance #funny

I don't have a car." His eyes sliced into mine. "I walked here," I explained. "I'm on foot." "Angel," he said in a way that sounded like he sincerely hoped I was joking. ↗

— Becca Fitzpatrick

#funny #hush-hush #nora-and-patch #patch-cipriano #silence

Thank you for helping my sister,” he says. I lean forward, mimicking his position. “I’m happy to.” Calliope leans out her window. “STOP FLIRTING AND GET BACK TO WORK. ↗

— Stephanie Perkins

#cricket #flirt #funny #lola #lola-and-the-boy-next-door

Bein friends is like being soldiers in the army. You live together, you fight together; you die together. ↗

— Ron Hall

#friendship

I'm just not prepared to be treated like this anymore.' 'Treated like what?' She sighed, and it was a moment before she spoke. 'Like you always want to be somewhere else, with someone else. ↗

— David Nicholls

#friendship