#p

Vampires have credit cards?" "We're undead, not Amish. ↗

— Jennifer Colgan

#humor #vampires #funny

Love is honesty. Love is a mutual respect for one another. ↗

— Simone Elkeles

#love #respect #love

A ransom note, the true test of unconditional love. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #kidnapping #love #funny

I don’t believe in a lot of phenomena that fall under the term ‘parapsychology.’ Especially that one branch, psychology. You’re going to tell me there’s something inside my head, controlling me? ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #psychology #funny

The great William Shakespeare said, "What's in a name?" He also said, "Call me Billy one more time and I will stab you with this ink quill. ↗

— Cuthbert Soup

#name #quill #william-shakespeare #funny

We’re wasting time here. I’ve got a sweet ass to paddle. Some legs to spread… ↗

— Starla Kaye

#domestic-discipline #erotic-romance #funny #romance #spanking

The seeking of a mate shall be undertaken with due preparation and care. A life-bond should never be contemplated as a light thing--unlike a legal union or sanctified joining, the sealing of souls CANNOT be severed. When a mate is SOULBOUND to another--LIFEMATED, as some have come to regard it--a mystery is engaged. In one aspect mystical, the lifemating process is the most sublime endeavor that a Refarian may assume. Once formed, the bond must be ever cherished and nurtured by the process of lifelong rigor. ↗

— Deidre Knight

#romance #science-fiction #life

Be able to go shopping for a bathing suit and not become depressed afterward. ↗

— Marilyn vos Savant

#bathing #bathing suit #become #depressed #go

Unless the object of the singer’s affection is a vampire, surely what Hart means is unphotogenic. Only vampires are unphotographable, but affectionate ‘-enic’ rhymes are hard to come by. ↗

— Stephen Sondheim

#lyricism #my-funny-valentine #rhymes #songwriting #valentine

Logician: a mathematician who can’t count posing as a philosopher who can’t moralize. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #logic #philosophy #funny