#pa

I gaped at what I saw next. She yanked his arm off and ate it. Gross! I knew she was hungry, but that was just...well, against the school rules for one thing. ↗

— Imogen Rose

#paranormal #humor

My sense of teasing is completely lost on you.", Patrick said, hoisting himself back up. "It's a shame too. Most people tell me my sense of humor is my best quality, only outdone by my otherworldly good looks. ↗

— Nicole Williams

#patrick #humor

She groaned as her face turned to press against the rosewood floor. "Welly, remind me to order a better mattress for my bed. This one is far too firm." "Oh, Eliza," Wellington gasped, now remembering why he was in these lush surroundings. "No broken nose, I hope." "S'all right," Braun slurred. Her voiced dropped to a whisper. "My ample bosom broke my fall. ↗

— Philippa Ballantine

#ministry-of-peculiar-occurrences #philippa-ballantine #tee-morris #humor

I'm what is known as perimenopausal. "Peri", some of you may know, is a Latin prefix meaning 'SHUT YOUR FLIPPIN' PIE HOLE". ↗

— Celia Rivenbark

#menopause #humor

Life is absolutely insane. Yes, life is insane but the great wisdom lies in choosing your insanity wisely. ↗

— Paolo Coelho

#paolo-coelho #veronica-decides-to-die #humor

Atlas smirked. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#paraphrased #unintentional-humor #humor

If you want me you're going to have to come and get me. ↗

— Tiffanie DeBartolo

#humor #love #paul-hudson #humor

Who knows himself a braggart, let him fear this, for it will come to pass that every braggart shall be found an ass. ↗

— William Shakespeare

#ass #braggart #bragging #humility #humor

It felt like he’d been dragged through the nine circles of hell — by his testicles. ↗

— Kay Berrisford

#erotica #fantasy #humor #m-m-paranormal #m-m-romance

I gave up on cussing - I'd run out of words filthy enough - and just started praying. ↗

— Sarah Monette

#humor #pain #humor