#parent

After you are here, I will try not to become one of those parents who brag incessantly about their children, who force them to recite the alphabet backward or sing the Lord's Prayer in German to horrified dinner guests. One of those parents who tell people who aren't interested and haven't askd what their progeny's grade-point average is, what school they go to, how handsome and brilliant and psychic they are. If something goes awry and I do become one of those parents, you have my permission to sneak into my bedroom while I am sleeping and pinch my nostrils shut. ↗

— Suzanne Finnamore

#parenthood #humor

Parents. Honestly. Sometimes they really do think the world revolves around them. ↗

— Randa Abdel-Fattah

#parents #universe #humor

We grow up opposing our parents only to become like them enough to oppose our children who behave as we once did—a reminder of how dreadful we were toward those now vindicated grandparents. And you thought God had no sense of humor. ↗

— Richelle E. Goodrich

#god #karma #learning #parenthood #parents

Mom and Dad exchange a nervous glance and have a telepathic conversation about it. I hear every word. Do we let her out? It's past curfew. True, but look at that—at least she asked! I know! I can hardly believe it! She could have sneaked out, but she asked! I know! We're good parents! "What time will you be back?" Dad asks. ↗

— Courtney Summers

#parents #telepathic #humor

Before I had kids, I always found it funny how people would talk about their children like they were the cutest things on the planet and how every little thing they did was endlessly fascinating. Now that I've had kids, I can say with certainty that, my children really are the cutest things on this planet and every little thing they do is endlessly fascinating... ↗

— Jennifer Miller

#humor #parenting #funny

I have never even idly thought for a single passing second that it might make my life nicer to have a small rude incontinent person follow me around screaming and making me buy them stuff for the rest of my life. ↗

— Tim Kreider

#humor #parent #humor

I have that hypocrisy of a parent in that I'm like,'Come on, you've got to toughen up at the same time let me take care of that for you. ↗

— Craig Ferguson

#parenthood #hypocrisy

Losing my parents was probably the hardest and deepest blow from which I've had to recover. ↗

— Marlo Thomas

#deepest #had #hardest #i #losing

I was really small when jazz broke through in England and I can still remember sneaking off to the living room to listen to it on the radio - much to my parent's disapproval. ↗

— Jeff Beck

#disapproval #england #i #i can #jazz

I don't think anybody feels like they're a good parent. Or if people think they're good parents, they ought to think again. ↗

— Joan Didion

#anybody #feels #good #good parent #i