#pen

... As could the sarcasm in her voice. "yes, she's bleeding to deat Lu upstairs, but i thought I'd avoid telling you right away, because I like to draw the suspense out. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#isabelle-lightwood #sarcasm #suspense

It’s not so much where I want you,Sophie, as it is how. Nothing tastes quite like a woman, and no woman tastes like you. - Marc Hunter ↗

— Pamela Clare

#romance #suspense #love

Doing the limbo under a razor pendulum is a lot cheaper than having a caesarian in a hospital. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #pendulum #pregnancy #funny

Maybe the truly handicapped people are the ones that don't need God as much. ↗

— Joni Eareckson Tada

#independence #pride #weaknesses #love

Excuse me,” she said, her voice tight. “But if I’d known there was going to be a firearms examination at the end of the kidnapping, by God, I would have studied for it! ↗

— Tara Janzen

#humour #romance #romantic-suspense #funny

I want to roll my eyes, but I'm pretty soon they're going to get stuck in the back of my head, and penis puns are really not worth my permanent facial damage. ↗

— Lauren Morrill

#funny #penis-jokes #funny

Peaches found herself wondering if Mary, a tiny brunette with an unprepossessing manner and less than ‘stellar’ work ethics, had to play Where’s Waldo to find Steve’s dick beneath his gigantic waistline. ↗

— A.T. Hicks

#funny #outrageous-behavior #penis-size #funny

Because I feel as if I let it down. As if it needed something from me, I was its only hope, and now that hope is gone.' 'What penis doesn’t try to make you feel that way? ↗

— R.J. Silver

#penis #funny

Liza took her time sipping her tea. “That’s what I hear Janet. Of course, living it up can take years off your life and add them to your face. ↗

— Gwenn Wright

#chick-lit #funny #romantic-suspense #funny

Hardly anything is made of wood anymore. Nature has provided us with far more durable materials. Carpentry is as obsolete as rainforests. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #nature #rainforests #wood