#per

I'm jealous of your hooks," Kevin replied. "Having no hands is better than having two equally strong hands." Don't be ridiculous," one of the white-faced women replied. "Having a white face is worse than both of your situations." But you have a white face because you put makeup on," Colette said, as Sunny climbed back out of the trunk and knelt down in the snow. "You're putting powder on your face right now. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#funny #humor #lemony #slippery-slope #snicket

Louis-Cesare slowly pulled himself into a half-standing position against the side of the winery.'What? Did you think one little mage was going to do me in?' He swallowed hard. 'Hell, that was just a warm-up. ↗

— Karen Chance

#damphir #dorina #fiction #humor #mage

There’s a writer for you,” he said. “Knows everything and at the same time he knows nothing.” [narrator]It was my first inkling that he was a writer. And while I like writers—because if you ask a writer anything you usually get an answer—still it belittled him in my eyes. Writers aren’t people exactly. Or, if they’re any good, they’re a whole lot of people trying so hard to be one person. It’s like actors, who try so pathetically not to look in mirrors. Who lean backward trying—only to see their faces in the reflecting chandeliers. ↗

— F. Scott Fitzgerald

#descriptions #insider #people #perceptions #writers

Whenever I think of something but can't think of what it was I was thinking of, I can't stop thinking until I think I'm thinking of it again. I think I think too much. ↗

— Criss Jami

#challenge #clever #cognition #cognitive #cognitive-psychology

A pair of dolphins swept by us in the water, flicking their heads out to get a look at us as they went. One of them made a chittering sound that wasn't very melodic. The other twitched its tail and splashed a little water our way, all in good fun. They weren't the attractive Flipper kind of dolphins. They were regular dolphins that aren't as pretty and don't get cast on television. Maybe they just refused to sell out and see a plastic surgeon. I held up a fist to them. Represent. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#flipper #humor #respect #humor

I feel like I might start crying and that I'm going to cry pee. ↗

— John Green

#humor #leaving #paper-towns #pee #young-adult

Even Cronus, the Titan who literally had his kids for breakfast, would find these facts hard to swallow. ↗

— Tai Odunsi

#greek-mythology #humor #mythology #percy-jackson-and-the-olympians #humor

I would have to break the ice with a warm smile that would melt her heart. ↗

— Tai Odunsi

#humor #love #olympus #percy #valentine

I believe in evolution in the sense that a short-tempered man is the successor of a crybaby. ↗

— Criss Jami

#belief #clever #comparison #control #crying

I don't see why you two can't get along." "It is a personality issue," Rathenridge muttered. Dentin looked at him. No emotion, no reaction, simply bland observation. "Yours? ↗

— Rachel Rossano

#duty #humor #personality-types #rachel-rossano #rathenridge