#po

Mortimer had maxed three credit cards stocking the cave with canned goods and medical supplies and tools and everything a man needed to live through the end of the world. There were more than a thousand books along shelves in the driest part of the cave. There used to be several boxes of pornography until Mortimer realized that he'd spent nearly ten days in a row sitting in the cave masturbating. He burned the dirty magazines to keep from doing some terrible whacking injury to himself. ↗

— Victor Gischler

#funny #funny

A man without debts is a man without anything to live for. Debt is collateral for life. It provides you with obligations to others, gives you duty, gives you purpose: the purpose to protect those possessions which you would not otherwise have without your debt. Debt is the most responsible way to elevate your social position. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #life #responsibility #funny

A blanket could be used at the end of meetings, to wrap things up—sort of like a big office burrito of productivity.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be used to smash my bottled up rage, and a blanket could be laid down beforehand to catch the shards. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A blanket could be what they wrap you up in after they kill you because you’ve seen too much. ↗

— Amy Summers

#brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #conspiracies #funny

A brick and a blanket are the perfect symbols for the superhero Captain Dense. ↗

— Nicole McKay

#brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny #humor

Monkeys! Have nothing to do with a brick or a blanket… I just like saying monkeys. ↗

— Amy Summers

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

Instead of putting flowers in books to flatten them you can use a brick. ↗

— Nicole McKay

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #flowers

Blankets make great traps for the clinically insane, but a straightjacket might work better. ↗

— Nicole McKay

#brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny #humor

Bricks could take the place of corporate CEOs. They have about the same level of thinking, but bricks are far more ethical than most CEOs. ↗

— Amy Summers

#brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #business #ceos