#pol

Capitalism tries for a delicate balance: It attempts to work things out so that everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from getting violent and trying to take other people’s stuff. ↗

— George Carlin

#economics-philosophy #humor #politics #humor

It's not that the Democrats are playing checkers and the Republicans are playing chess. It's that the Republicans are playing chess and the Democrats are in the nurse's office because once again they glued their balls to their thighs. ↗

— Jon Stewart

#politics #humor

It's all very well to put the government in the hands of the perfect man, but what do you do when the perfect man gets a bellyache? ↗

— David Eddings

#politics #humor

Your Excellency, I have no need of this hypothesis. ↗

— Pierre Laplace

#atheist #god #humor #mathematics #napoleon

Our listeners asked us: "What is chaos?" We're answering: "We do not comment on economic policy. ↗

— John Vaillant

#economic-policy #humor #radio-call-in-shows #russia #humor

What does Karl Marx put on his pasta? Communist Manipesto! ↗

— Stephen Colbert

#politics #humor

Obama is not a secret Kenyon, or a secret Muslim, he's a secret Republican. ↗

— Bill Maher

#politics #president-obama #humor

Indeed, when I came to Italy, I expected to encounter a certain amount of resentment, but have received instead empathy from most Italians. In any reference to George Bush, people only nod to Berlusconi, saying","We understand how it is - we have one, too. ↗

— Elizabeth Gilbert

#george-bush #humor #italy #politics #humor

The problem with the Tea Party is they're all ignorant hillbillies who drink moonshine and ride around on mules. And they believe in stereotypes too. ↗

— Jon Stewart

#politics-of-the-united-states #humor

It’s a truism in policing that witnesses and statements are fine, but nothing beats empirical physical evidence. Actually it isn’t a truism because most policemen think the word ‘empirical’ is something to do with Darth Vader, but it damn well should be. ↗

— Ben Aaronovitch

#police #humor