#politic

It's now very common to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that.' As if that gives them certain rights. It's actually nothing more... than a whine. 'I find that offensive.' It has no meaning; it has no purpose; it has no reason to be respected as a phrase. 'I am offended by that.' Well, so fucking what. ↗

— Stephen Fry

#philosophical #politics #wisdom #humor

We had a choice between Democrats who couldn't learn from the past and Republicans who couldn't stop living in it... ↗

— P.J. O'Rourke

#government #humor #politics #republicans #humor

I've got daughters. Nine years old and six years old. First of all, I'm gonna teach them about values and morals. But if they make a mistake, I don't want them PUNISHED with a baby. ↗

— Barack Obama

#politics #humor

I wanted the feel in these books to be like an epic fantasy, with kings, queens, dukes and court politics, but of course like what I was explaining before, about making the science make sense, you have to make the politics make sense, too. ↗

— Kevin J. Anderson

#before #books #course #court #dukes

I was also going to give a graduation speech in Arizona this weekend. But with my accent, I was afraid they would try to deport me. ↗

— Arnold Schwarzenegger

#politics #humor

The dead should not rule the living ↗

— Thomas Jefferson

#inspirational #politics #inspirational

With anal sex, I suggest you start gently. Find a slender midget. Or a member of Congress. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#anal-sex #congress #funny #humor #politics

From the people who brought you "zero tolerance," I present the Gun-Free Zone! Yippee! Problem solved! Bam! Bam! Everybody down! Hey, how did that deranged loner get a gun into this Gun-Free Zone? ↗

— Ann Coulter

#politics #republican #humor

I guess he believes if a lie is big enough and repeated often enough, it will be believed. ↗

— John McCain

#mccain-lies #political #humor

Environmentalists generally object to battery-powered devices and for good reason: batteries require mined minerals, employ manufacturing processes that leak toxins into local ecosystems and leave behind an even-worse trail of side effects upon disposal. Though when it comes to the largest mass-produced battery-powered gadget ever created—the electric car—environmentalists cannot jump from their seats fast enough to applaud it. ↗

— Ozzie Zehner

#environment #humor #politics #humor