#puns

Soon I learned that the worse the puns and jokes, the funnier they could be, if you knew how to deliver them. ↗

— John Lasseter

#deliver #funnier #how #i #jokes

Of puns it has been said that those who most dislike them are those who are least able to utter them. ↗

— Edgar Allan Poe

#been #dislike #least #most #puns

I grew up in an environment of jokes and sarcasm and puns. I talk that way, so I write that way. ↗

— Allan Sloan

#grew #i #i write #jokes #puns

You see... I'm holy. Holey, Fred, geddit?" "Pathetic," he told George. "Pathetic! With the whole wide world of ear-related humor before you, you go with holey? ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor #puns #twins #death

No way, that would kill my diet for the week. I don't know how you can stand to eat so unhealthy, Quinn. Just consider it an amuse-biatch. ↗

— Steph Campbell

#hilarious #sopapilla-cheesecake-bars #diet

It occurred to the man that the biggest problem with this staid world was the overwhelming demand for conformity. Everything was so eerily definitive: assent to the mandates of society would see you on the rise, but dissent was a steady downward path. ↗

— Django Wylie

#life #life-lessons #puns #wordplay #life

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted. ↗

— Fred Allen

#good #hanging #makes #man #puns

Cucumbers are technically a fruit and in the same family as pumpkins, melons and squash, so it may benefit those markets, although, to be honest, giant melons don't strike me as potentially that commercial. ↗

— Jasper Fforde

#puns #family

Over the years, I have been subjected to many indignities, all for the sake of Art. If I ever catch him, I'm going to kill the guy. ↗

— Bob Hope

#film #hollywood #humour #puns #art

Do they always flirt with biblical quotes?" Asil asked Tad. In long-suffering tones, Tad said, "They can flirt with the periodic table or a restaurant menu. We've learned to live with it. Get a room you guys. ↗

— Patricia Briggs

#love #puns #humor