#puns

He leaned forward and plucked something out of my hair. “What—?” He held the dead leaf before me. “Must have gotten that rolling around with Alexi in the backyard.” I blinked and looked at him. “That sounded so wrong.” He nodded, eyebrow quirked. Waiting. “I’m trying to learn a few things from your more experienced brother so I’m ready for our big event.” His expression didn’t change. “Yee-ahhh. Not any better, huh?” I laughed. Our big event could mean two vastly different things to Pietr. “Lemme just run through the other ways I could get this wrong: Alexi’s teaching me some moves. He’s trying to put the hurt on me. He was putting me into some positions I’ve never tried before.…” I snorted. I couldn’t help myself. A muscle near Pietr’s left eye twitched. “He’s teaching me to fight!” I laughed, grabbing his wrists. ↗

— Shannon Delany

#puns #change

Let us cry for the spilt milk, by all means, if by doing so we learn how to avoid spilling any more. Let us cry for the spilt milk, and remember how, and where, and why, we spilt it. Much wisdom is learnt through tears, but none by forgetting our lessons. ↗

— María Amparo Ruiz de Burton

#mistakes #puns #inspirational

Puns are a form of humor with words. ↗

— Guillermo Cabrera Infante

#form #puns #words

Soon I learned that the worse the puns and jokes, the funnier they could be, if you knew how to deliver them. ↗

— John Lasseter

#deliver #funnier #how #i #jokes

Of puns it has been said that those who most dislike them are those who are least able to utter them. ↗

— Edgar Allan Poe

#been #dislike #least #most #puns

I grew up in an environment of jokes and sarcasm and puns. I talk that way, so I write that way. ↗

— Allan Sloan

#grew #i #i write #jokes #puns

You see... I'm holy. Holey, Fred, geddit?" "Pathetic," he told George. "Pathetic! With the whole wide world of ear-related humor before you, you go with holey? ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor #puns #twins #death

No way, that would kill my diet for the week. I don't know how you can stand to eat so unhealthy, Quinn. Just consider it an amuse-biatch. ↗

— Steph Campbell

#hilarious #sopapilla-cheesecake-bars #diet

It occurred to the man that the biggest problem with this staid world was the overwhelming demand for conformity. Everything was so eerily definitive: assent to the mandates of society would see you on the rise, but dissent was a steady downward path. ↗

— Django Wylie

#life #life-lessons #puns #wordplay #life

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted. ↗

— Fred Allen

#good #hanging #makes #man #puns