#r

It's already 95 degrees outside. Mississippi got the most unorganized weather in the nation. ↗

— Kathryn Stockett

#humor

Blessed are they who hold lively conversations with the helplessly mute, for they shall be called dentists. ↗

— Ann Landers

#humor #humor

Leandros's favorite place had turned out not to be vegetarian, but vegan, which was for people who preferred their suicide slow. ↗

— Rob Thurman

#humor

Smells like homeless man's crotch. Not that I've ever been up close and personal with a homeless man's crotch, but... ↗

— Stacey Jay

#humor

Always tell what you feel. Do what you think... ↗

— Gabriel Garcí­a Márquez

#inspirational

Rincewind gave his fingers a long shocked stare, as one might regard a gun that has been hanging on the wall for decades and has suddenly gone off and perforated the cat. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor

Such bees! Bilbo had never seen anything like them. "If one were to sting me," He thought "I should swell up as big as I am! ↗

— J.R.R. Tolkien

#humor #swelling #humor

I'm stupid. I can never think of something... ↗

— Piedad Ornelas

#humor #retard #sisters-in-crime #stupidity #humor

Stairs. This is Hell. Hell is stairs, was all Theo could think. I'd sell my soul for a goddamn elevator. But I don't have a soul, do I? I'm some kind of fairy. Okay, settle for an escalator, then. ↗

— Tad Williams

#humor

Every single time you crossed over for me and met me on my side. I realize now, I don't think I ever met you in the middle. And I don't think I ever once said that you for that. ↗

— Cecelia Ahern

#love #missing #friendship