#rang

Kick the blanket, don’t kick the bucket—especially if that bucket is full of death (or bricks).
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

What if you slept? And what if, in your sleep, you went to heaven and there plucked a strange and beautiful flower? And what if,when you awoke,you had the flower in your hand? Ah, what then? ↗

— Samuel Taylor Coleridge

#romantic #strange-flower #beauty

Retiring is a strange word. I'm 27 years old. I've still got stuff to do. ↗

— Aaron Peirsol

#i #old #retiring #still #strange

There,” she said softly. “Now he could be sleeping. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#dobby #hermione-granger #death

How sweet the morning air is! See how that one little cloud floats like a pink feather from some gigantic flamingo. Now the red rim of the sun pushes itself over the London cloud-bank. It shines on a good many folk, but on none, I dare bet, who are on a stranger errand than you and I. How small we feel with our petty ambitions and strivings in the presence of the great elemental forces of Nature! ↗

— Arthur Conan Doyle

#london #morning #nature #petty-ambitions #sherlock-holmes

When she offered me a spot of tea, I said, “No thanks, I’ve already got a spot of tea on my shirt.”
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— Jarod Kintz

#funny #hospitality #humor #random #random-thought

When someone says so-and-so’s opinionated, what’s that mean? Aren’t we all opinionated? Show me one person with no opinions, and I’ll show you a bowl of Jell-O—or a politician, whichever one’s dumber.
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— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #politicians #politics #random

Every sex noise can be converted into a note and frozen in a can of soda. Ask me about menstruation music today! 
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— Jarod Kintz

#convert #drink #frozen #funny #humor

My shadow falling over a spot of land always increases its real estate value. Buy it now, because at high noon, all value will vanish.
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— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #noon #random #random-thought

I grew up listening to Queen. They were no stranger to throwing in the unexpected and something a little more dramatic. ↗

— Carrie Underwood

#grew #i #listening #little #more