#range

When someone says so-and-so’s opinionated, what’s that mean? Aren’t we all opinionated? Show me one person with no opinions, and I’ll show you a bowl of Jell-O—or a politician, whichever one’s dumber.
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— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #politicians #politics #random

Every sex noise can be converted into a note and frozen in a can of soda. Ask me about menstruation music today! 
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— Jarod Kintz

#convert #drink #frozen #funny #humor

We went our several ways," said Lady Dedlock, "and had little in common even before we agreed to differ. It is to be regretted, I suppose, but it could not be helped. ↗

— Charles Dickens

#differ #estranged #family #sisters #family

Strangers take a long time to become acquainted, particularly when they are from the same family. ↗

— M.E. Kerr

#strangers #family

You can know someone all your life, like your parents or family, but I’ll tell you this, Ned. There’s an expression on their face, or a tone in their voice, or a way they walk, that you’ve never ever seen before. Like they’ve kept it hidden. Until their brother dies. Or their son. I remember those days and they were like these strangers and I wanted to say, Who are you people? ↗

— Melina Marchetta

#strangers #thomas #family

Somebody left a pair of baby shoes on a bench. I would have taken them home, if only they weren’t too big for my feet.
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— Jarod Kintz

#baby-shoes #bench #bizarre #feet #funny

Bricks could be used to stock vending machines. You may be out of a home, but I’ll never be out of bricks to sell you.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

My shadow falling over a spot of land always increases its real estate value. Buy it now, because at high noon, all value will vanish.
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— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #noon #random #random-thought

I grew up listening to Queen. They were no stranger to throwing in the unexpected and something a little more dramatic. ↗

— Carrie Underwood

#grew #i #listening #little #more

All living things contain a measure of madness that moves them in strange, sometimes inexplicable ways. ↗

— Yann Martel

#strange #life